Cloud Plus Alcohol Equals WTF!
by Rikora6661
Summary: Cloud Is Extremely Drunk. But After A...'Series Of Unfortunate Events'...His Friendship With Reno Seems To Change PRETTY Quickly. WARNING. Yaoi and OOC! CloudxReno. slight VincentxSephiroth in parts
1. The Party

DISCLAIMER! I don't own FFVII. I REALLY wish I did but I don't.

AND THIS IS YAOI! There will only be 3 chapters, and they get pretty 'mature' later on. :P

This was written with the help of a friend.

Empty beer cans and glasses littered the room as the party ended. Cloud, Reno and Zack sat around a small table, playing a love compatabilty game.

"Who shall we do now?" Reno asked, obviously bored as he wasn't allowed to drink.

"Cloud and Tifa?" Zack asked. Cloud just burped in reply to this. Zack rolled his eyes before working it out.

"96. No suprise..." Reno sighed and lay dow on the sofa he was on.

"Okay Okay, So whos next?" Zach asked, not really talking to anyone in particular.

"Uhh. Tifa and Yuffffiiieeeeee! hehe" Cloud slurred, obviously drunk. Zack looked at him before working out if they would make a 'couple'.

"Haha! They got 89!" Zack laughed. He looked at Yuffie, "She's passed out. I told her she couldn't handle it, but Noooo. She just wouldn't listen..." All the way through this conversation Vincent was sat, straddling Sephiroth's lap. All you could see was a moving mass of Black and Silver hair, Sephiroth's hand was worked into Vincents hair.

"Hey, Why don't we do those two?" Reno asked, laughing. He soon cringed when he heard Vincent moan. "Gross..." He muttered.

"93. They should be 99. You'd think that by looking at them wouldn't you?" Zack said.

"Yeah...I might go outside for abit..." Reno muttered as he stood up.

"Noooo! Zack still has to do me and yoouu burp. Zack! Me and Renooo!" Cloud giggled. Reno sighed as Cloud pushed him back onto the sofa. Cloud stood up and sat next to Reno. He then put his arm around Reno, who pushed him away, causing Cloud to fall on the floor giggling. Suddenly to everyones suprise, Vincent and Sephiroth decided to actually breathe, and turn around. When they saw Cloud on the floor, the burst out laughing. Zach then started laughing, but at something else.

"What?" Reno asked, with a blank expression plastered on his face.

"Hahaha! Either way I work it out, you two get 99! Thats the highest you can get!!" Cloud sat up, looked at Reno, giggled, then fell back onto the floor with a thud. At the same time, Reno spat out the water in his mouth, shouting, "What?!"

Sephiroth laughed, "See now, Vinnie has had 10 times more to drink than Cloud."

"But he's only been on the wine" Zack replyed. "3 bottles of wine actually. Yet he's sober as a priest" Sephiroth giggled. Vincent started to kiss his neck and mumbles something.

"Ewww. Thats gross..." Reno muttered, cringing. "Whats gross?" Zack asked. "I could have sworn I just heard Vincent say 'an extremely horny priest'" Reno replyed. Zack cringed too.

"Thats it, I'm going now..." Zack said, standing up. Cloud looked at Vincent and Sephiroth.

"Oi! No sex in my house! Oi Vincent...Sephiroth? OI! PRICK!" Cloud threw a bottle at them, completely missing them both. The only reply was Sephiroths middle finger on the back of Vincents head. Cloud stuck out his tongue and childishly blew a raspberry causing Reno to break out into a fit of laughter. Sephiroth stood up, holding Vincent bridal style, and half sprinted towards his car.

"Well I guess i'll be off then." Zack stood up and walked towards the door, closely followed by Cloud and Reno. Zack opened his car door, and as soon as he sat down Cloud has dived onto his lap.

"Your hair is so pretty!" Cloud snuggled into Zacks neck, making him shoot out of his seat, and out of his car. Cloud dumbly climbed out of the car and began staring aimlessly at his surroundings.

"Ooooh...Hey! Look! Vincent shaves his legs!!" Cloud shouted, as he pointed excitedly at Sephiroth's car. Reno looked in and instantly covered his eyes.

"Gross. I didn't need to see that..."

Zack laughed and said, "I guess they couldn't wait" Zack then got back into his car and searched his pockets for his keys.

"Hey Zack! You forgot the keys to the brumbrum!!" Cloud giggled.

"How the fuck did you get those?!" Zack asked, utterly confused.

"You want them? Come get them!" Cloud ran around Zacks car, laughing until he tripped and fell INTO Reno, knocking them both onto the floor. Strangely enough, they ended up in that 'Famous Wrong Position.' (I know it's Cliche')

Reno pushed Cloud off of him. "Get of me...Dumbass" Reno whined. Cloud crossed his legs and pouted at Reno. He mentally slapped himself. "Resist, Reno...Resist." He told himself.


	2. Wendyhouse

THIS STORY IS PURPOSELY OOC! Obviously! Sephiroth and Cloud couldn't be in the same room with each other without killing each other. Duh.

Remember. Still writing this with some help from SoraStrife92

Resist Reno, Resist!

Reno's POV

Cloud launched himself at me and hugged me tightly, causing me to jump in shock and attempt to pry him off. Zack laughed and began to walk towards his car.

"I'll leave you two lovebirds alone shall I?" He teased as he opened his car door.

"Huh? What...what? No Way! Ew. We aren't 'lovebirds'. What are you on man?" I stuttered, jumping up and stepping away from Cloud. A little too obvious maybe? Cloud lay on the floor motionless. Zack laughed and got in his car.

"Aight' Reno. Whatever you say" He winked after he said this, before driving off. I stood motionless and silent for a couple of minutes with Cloud spread out onthe ground behind me. My focus and the silence was broken by loud banging, followed by a very audible/'pleasureable' scream coming from Sephy's car. Oh dear. The noises were enough to make even CLOUD cringe... My face fell in disgust at the thought of what Vincent and Sephiroth could POSSIBLY be doing in a car that small. Cloud stood up and stumbled back towards his house, muttering "Too much" under his breathe. I walked up to the car and banged on the door.

"Keep it clean and go home. Wouldn't want the neighbours complaining now would we?" I laughed. All I got in reply was a very muffled

"Fuck...Off...Reno! moan" I cringed again and walked towards Cloud's house. I stopped as I saw Cloud fumbling in his pockets.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten your keys," I said.

"Uhhh..." he scratched the back of his head. " I think they are inside..." Cloud muttered. I sighed and knocked loudly on the door.

"Yuffie! Let us in!" I waited. Nothing. I hammered on the door this time, "Yuffie Kisaragi open the damn dor it's starting to rain and Cloud...Uh...Is sitting in a flowerpot. What the fuck..." I blinked and shook his head. Cloud had indeed fallen backwards and was now sitting in a flowerpot that was placed next to his front door. "Let us in!" I shouted again. I let out an exasperated sigh before pulling Cloud out of the flowerpot, resisting the temptation to brush the dirt off of his ass. "Uhh. Where do we go now?" I asked but Cloud just pulled me round to the back of the house and pointed towards what looked like a shed.

"Marlene's old Wendyhouse, it should open with a good hit..." He seemed to have sobered up a little in the rain and after falling into a flowerpot...The idiot. "Hmm. Theres noting to hit it with..." Thats when I got my idea. I kind of...threw...Cloud at the door, making the lock break.

"Bingo!" I grinned as we walked inside. Cloud rugby tackled me to the floor, landing ontop of me, giving me a 'Noogie'.

"That hurt!" He moaned. I apologized but Cloud didn't get off me causing me to bite lip in more temptation. Cloud licked my face as I stood up and looked into the corner of the 'small room'.

"Cloud there's only one blanket in here" I realized. "I'm having it then" Cloud stated. Charming.

Three hours later - Normal POV

Cloud was sleeping nice and snug under his blanket, while Reno lay shivering on the cold floor on the other side of the room. Cloud woke up and looked over at Reno.

"Reno! Wake Up!" He shouted. Reno grumbled and turned over to look at Cloud.

"Wha...?" He muttered drowsily.

"Your freezing, come on" He lifted the side of the blanket up, beckoning for him to get under the covers. Reno stood up and dragged himself towards Cloud. On the way over he tripped over one of Marlene's many teddies that were strewn across the floor, causing him to land...NEXT to Cloud.

"Oww" Reno muttered, before crawling under the covers next to a giggling Cloud. Cloud snuggled up to Reno, but only in an effort to warm him up. Reno blushed three shades of red, but enjoyed the 'snuggle' anyway. They lay conversing for awhile until they moved on to talk about Tifa and her obsession with Cloud.

"It's so annoying, and creepy! Seriously. I don't even know what she sees in me to be honest" Cloud sighed. I looked at him and opened my mouth to speak. I hesitated but came out with it after a couple of seconds.

"What is there not to like?" Reno stared at Cloud for a few seconds before turning away and blushing madly once more. An awkward silence followed, but was soon broken by Cloud's strange attempt at a conversation. It was probably the stupidest question Reno had ever heard.

"Do you like banana flavoured condoms?" Reno's face dropped in a state of shock. "WTF?" He asked.

"They are fun to blow up with your nose!" Reno layed speachless for a second, before bursting into a fit of laughter. Cloud laughed aswell once he realised what he'd just said. Another awkward silence followed suite.

"Uh. I'm gonna go to sleep now" Reno told Cloud.

Cloud's POV. LAME CONTENT AHEAD lol

Reno snuggled into me and closed his eyes. I kissed his forehead, in an affectionate friendly way of course. To my suprise he leaned in to kiss MY forehead, but in the spur of the moment I lifted my head so that his lips brushed mine instead of my forehead. I dunno why I did it, I just felt it was the right thing to do at the time. I mean, I have liked him for along time... He pulled back and looked shocked.

"What th...Why did you kiss me?!" I know that Reno still thinks I am drunk...So why is he acting so shocked? Anyway, the truth is i'm not actually drunk. I was but I can maraculously recover at the snap of a finger. I answered his question by attacking his lips with mine once again. I expected him to struggle, but he kissed back, intensifying things even more. Can you say 'Heaven'? We both pulled away, slightly out of breathe. Reno was staring into space. I looked at him for a minute before he spoke.

"Wow..." Was the only word he breathed out. After that, we returned to just talking. Thats when curiosity over took me.

"So. Uhh. How long have you liked me then?" I stuttered, causing Reno to blush the colour of his brightly coloured hair.

"sincethedayimetyou" He muttered quickly..so fast that it was nearly inaudible. I heard him though, but I wanted to hear him say it again.

"Clearer Please?" I asked, laughing to lighten the mood.

"Since the day I met you...It sounds so cliche' romance movie but it's true" He muttered, a little louder this time. He drooped his head in embarresment and to hide his flourished cheeks. I lifted his head by putting a finger on his chin. His eyes met mine and I smiled at him reassuringly.

"Vice-Versa" I whispered, lightly pecking his lips to make him feel better. Reno giggle and snuggled into me, nuzzling his face into my neck as we fell asleep...as cliche as it sounds...in each others arms.


End file.
